Our home has decressed in value, my husband is making less than he used to, and out other bills our suffering. We need to refiance. Home worth 118,000 we still owe 158,000

What type of loan are you currently in? FHA or VA? If one of those two you can still refinance without doing an appraisal. Otherwise your best bet would likely be to contact your current servicer to see if there is anything they can do to help make your payments more affordable.